The Gray, dilemma-choked World in The Peacock and the Sparrow by I S Berry

When most people think of spies, they think of glamor, sex appeal, clear-cut good and bad guys. The reality is quite different. I served as a CIA case officer (fancy term for “spy”) for six years, including one year in wartime Baghdad, and found the profession to be murky, gruelling, at times debilitating. Many of the people—sources and case officers alike—were cut from a morally uneven cloth. Failures often outnumbered successes, and both were sometimes hard to define. We wrestled with questions—whether an informant was telling the truth, what kind of risks to take, whether ends justified means, what constituted “right”—and were frequently left without answers. These often-unpleasant truths form the basis of my debut novel, The Peacock and the Sparrow. One experience in particular informed my novel.

In autumn of 2004, I arrived as a first-tour case officer to Baghdad—at that time, the most dangerous place on earth. Over 800 American soldiers, and countless Iraqis, allies, and innocents of all nationalities, had been killed. Every hour, mortars and rockets pelted the Green Zone, military convoys were attacked, locals were terrorized. We had limited defences—body armour, weapons, the fleeting shelter of bunkers—which mostly just served to underscore the danger. My mission was to recruit sources who could identify and dismantle the network of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq (AQIZ). But we were making little progress, and morale was low.

Amid what felt like a hopeless war, I discovered that one of my sources was distantly connected to an alleged AQIZ terrorist, “Qasim.” A top military target, Qasim was suspected of participating in the 2003 “Canal Hotel” bombing of the UN headquarters in Baghdad. Lo and behold, against all odds, my informant helped track Qasim down. Finally, I felt I’d achieved a small victory.

But when we questioned Qasim, he denied the allegations. Of course, we expected this: detainees often kept mum, knowing we couldn’t typically hold them more than 72 hours without sufficient evidence. At the end of the interview, no confession on the table, the military nevertheless cuffed Qasim, ushered him into a helicopter, flew him to a detention facility. Surely, we all thought, he’d eventually confess, or the necessary evidence would materialize. In some form, the truth would take shape.

When my tour ended, I returned to D.C. I learned that a colleague at Langley had questioned Qasim at a different detention facility. Qasim still hadn’t confessed. For the first time, I started to doubt his guilt.

My doubt only grew over the years. I wondered whether, amid the mess and chaos of war and espionage, we’d gotten it wrong. The uncertainty plagued me.

In 2012, I returned to the Middle East—Bahrain. Manama, its capital, was a sight to behold, full of vivid, profound contrasts: palaces and luxury hotels alongside slums; heavily armed riot police battling street urchins. The Arab Spring had been simmering for nearly a year. It was a proxy war: Bahrain’s Shiite majority, which reputedly received support from Iran, was revolting against the Saudi-backed Sunni monarchy. The U.S., whose Fifth Fleet is based in Bahrain, was caught in the middle of the conflict, torn between defending against Iran and supporting an often-repressive government. This murky landscape, where there was no clear “right” side or easy answer, brought to mind the conundrums I’d faced as a spy. It was a perfect prism for a tale about espionage. I began writing.

My novel, The Peacock and the Sparrow, is based on these gray, dilemma-choked worlds. When my protagonist, an aging spy named Shane Collins, is caught in the crosswinds of the Arab Spring, he becomes embroiled in murder, consuming love, and an unpredictable revolution. He’s forced to choose sides. Ultimately, he’s haunted by his decisions—“the tangle of mistakes, promises, and defeats that grips a man’s heels.” Spying is a “profession of ghosts,” Collins finds, “the culmination of actions taken or not taken, ends swallowed by means.”

Since The Peacock and the Sparrow was first published in the U.S. in 2023, dozens of current and former intelligence officers have reached out to me. The dilemmas, knots, and question marks woven into the book resonate, they tell me. Wraiths of decisions, betrayals, mistakes, the toll of manipulation—these are the things that remain after coming in from the cold. I set out to write the most realistic spy novel I could, to convey a visceral sense of the profession, and I’m gratified that people have connected with my story, that it captures these quiet consequences of espionage.

This year, The Peacock and the Sparrow also received the Edgar, Barry, and International Thriller Writers awards for Best First Novel, which has been an unspeakable honour. Writing is my second profession, and second acts are always a gamble. But, as I’ve come to realize, I find writing about spying far more rewarding than doing it.

The Peacock and The Sparrow by I S |Berry (Bedford Square Publishers (Out Now)

Shane Collins, a world-weary CIA spy, is ready to come in from the cold. Stationed in Bahrain for his final tour, he's anxious to dispense with his mission — uncovering Iranian support for the insurgency. But then he meets Almaisa, an enigmatic artist, and his eyes are opened to a side of Bahrain most expats never experience, to questions he never thought to ask. When his trusted informant becomes embroiled in a murder, Collins finds himself drawn deep into the conflict, his romance and loyalties upended. In an instant, he's caught in the crosswinds of a revolution. He sets out to learn the truth behind the Arab Spring, win Almaisa's love, and uncover the murky border where Bahrain's secrets end and America's begin.

 I.S. Berry’s The Peacock and the Sparrow will be published in the UK for the first time on 24 October 2024 as £9.99 paperback original from No Exit Press, part of Bedford Square Publishers.

More information about I S berry can be found on her website.  You can also find her on Facebook. You can also follow her on X  and on Instagram @isberryauthor