This novel is a dark twist on that most difficult of dilemmas – should you forgive a cheating partner? In Tell Me Lies, troubled Hannah’s world spirals to a very dangerous place where she must ask – is it even safe to forgive her cheating husband? The story is further complicated by Hannah’s childhood trauma which makes it very hard for her to decide if all the mysterious happenings around her are the result of her paranoia. Or if she’s right to be so afraid.
You worked as a BBC TV news presenter before turning to writing thrillers. What made you want to start writing? Did your career in the media help you as a storyteller?
I wanted to write fiction from an early age and started novels in exercise books right back in primary school. A careers adviser wisely steered me to journalism which I loved, working in newspapers for years and then television. My decades as a reporter allowed me to walk through extraordinary emotional landscape. So many stories about bad things happening to good people. I never let go of the dream of writing fiction but I didn’t find space for it until my life was less hectic.
Now, as an author, I never use real stories in my fiction but I do absolutely use that emotional landscape from my years in journalism. The memory of all the ripples in the pool after a crime or a tragedy. Especially the memory of the haunted look in the eyes of anyone who’s lost a loved one to a crime. That stays with you.
To me fiction feels like a safe space to explore the many difficult themes that troubled me across all those decades as a journalist. I’m not afraid to use challenging themes but I try always to write as sensitively as I possibly can. I feel it all very deeply so I do find some scenes very hard to write. Often I have to take a good long walk before a challenging chapter.
There is a tangible feeling of claustrophobia and isolation in this book after you suffered a freak accident a year ago and channelled the trauma of this into your writing. What happened?
I’d started this book (and had a deadline for it) when I suffered this terrible freak accident. A year on, I still can’t quite believe it happened …
I’d had my flu jab and felt a bit ‘off’. In the night I went to the bathroom and felt decidedly wobbly. I’m prone to fainting and thought I’d better get back to bed – but alas didn’t make it! I fainted down a single step – possibly into the door frame. Upshot was I managed to break my hip.
And my heart!
This was just before my 30th wedding anniversary and we had big treats planned ,including a stay at the Burgh Island hotel. Instead I spent my anniversary in hospital (in shock) having an emergency full hip replacement!
Because of Covid, my husband wasn’t allowed in the ambulance and visiting was very restricted. Ambulances were queuing outside my local hospital (Derriford) the night I fainted so we had to go to Torbay hospital which I didn’t know at all. I’ve never been so thrown. Or scared.
Recovery was tough. I’m normally so fit and independent so this big mobility upset (crutches and strict rules to avoid dislocation) really knocked my confidence for a while. Also my brain was foggy for a few weeks (shock, I assume, plus painkillers ) and I couldn’t write. I knew that my lovely publisher would put the deadline back if necessary. But I didn’t want that. So once I was able to write again, I felt desperate to do nothing but write. So I finished writing Tell Me Lies in this really strange and intense place. Unable to drive. Unable to get about properly.
I realise now that I put a lot of my shock, isolation and feelings of claustrophobia and disorientation into the writing of Tell Me Lies. It wasn’t intentional but I see now looking back that my strange headspace at the time really suited the story. So, as horrible as the whole hip drama was, I think it’s made for a much stronger book.
Thankfully I’m fully recovered now and so launching this book feels particularly special to me. (Note to self: Rebook Burgh Island Hotel to celebrate!)
This story is delightfully complex and unique. How did you come up with it? Do you plot everything out before you write?
The character of troubled Hannah – with her childhood trauma – came to me first, very powerfully, but I wasn’t sure what story to put her in. Then I remembered a stay in an idyllic cottage in Cornwall where I’d been spooked by a reference in the visitor book to a ghost. For a night, I was listening out for every creak of the floorboards – suddenly this beautiful cottage felt alien and quite threatening!
I realised I wanted to put those two things together - Hannah with her troubled background and an idyllic cottage that somehow turns dark. The plot just grew from there.
I’m more of a ‘pantser’ than a true ‘plotter’ but I did have a short synopsis written up before I started the novel. Other themes and strands emerged in the writing.
A key theme in the book is the support given – or not – by close friends when tragedy strikes or relationships are betrayed. Should cheating spouses be given a second chance, or should we walk away from infidelity?
I don’t think anyone can reach my age without having seen someone in their wider circle face this terrible dilemma. Forgive or walk away from a cheater? How on earth do you give advice? I’ve known people get past an infidelity and others fall apart over it. There’s no right or wrong way. Ask Google and you will get MILLIONS of answers. It’s a messy and heart-breaking dilemma and that’s why I wanted to explore it in this book, adding the darker dimension of danger.
You often draw on real life locations as settings in your books. Tell us more about the house on which you based Owl Cottage?
When my two boys were small we took many idyllic holidays on The Lizard in Cornwall. Twice we stayed in this gorgeous cottage with owls hooting at night from the nearby trees. I LOVED it but one day noticed a reference in the visitor book to a ghost. I was verily spooked and that night was listening out for every creak of the floorboards. I’m embarrassed to admit it took a while for me to get a grip and the idyllic place felt temporarily alien. So when I was thinking of a setting for this book, I had that special cottage very much in my mind. That strong memory of it suddenly seeming darker for a time. I wanted to return to the cottage to celebrate finishing the book but it’s been sold. I tweaked the layout and the geography of the property too as I’m not sure the new owners would like the idea of my dark story being set there but it helped enormously to have a real and beautiful cottage in mind when I was writing.
You live in Devon and Tell Me Lies is set in Cornwall. You’ve said before that the area around Porthleven is one of your favourite places. What is special about Devon and Cornwall?
I’ve always loved the south-west. My late mother was born in North Devon so we visited a lot in my childhood. Lots of memories of the seaside and the beautiful farmland. When I was offered the role to present the BBC regional TV news in the south-west, I genuinely couldn’t believe my luck. A glorious place to work and to bring up my family.
As much as I love Devon, we also liked a change of scene when our two boys were small so had lots of bucket-and-spade holidays in Cornwall. The Lizard was our favourite and I fell in love with Porthleven in particular. Our boys are adults now but my husband and I still visit Porthleven regularly and I often use the area in my books. It’s very special. A picture-perfect harbour with friendly people, glorious views and, for me, magical memories.
There is controversy about people having second homes in these areas, and the tensions between locals and holiday let owners features in the book. What has been your experience of this situation? Do you sympathise with one or the other, or can you see both sides?
I sprinkled a reference to the second homes controversy into this book because it’s increasingly debated across the south-west and it’s something we do need to think about. I have regularly rented cottages in Cornwall so I worry I wear an ‘hypocrisy hat’. I know that Cornwall needs the money from tourism but it also needs more affordable homes for its young people and holiday rentals are driving up prices. So I’m troubled by the debate and that’s why I put it in the book. I can definitely see both sides and feel we need to somehow find a balance. I don’t have the answer but the problem of locals being priced out of the housing market needs to be talked about.
What is aphantasia, and how does this affect your writing?
I discovered not long ago that I seem to have an unusual form of aphantasia which means my ‘mind’s eye’ doesn’t work quite like other people’s. I haven’t had a formal diagnosis but every test and survey I’ve taken online tells me that I do have this strange condition.
Aphantasia means that you can’t conjure an actual picture when you close your eyes. If you tell me to picture an apple, I close my eyes and see only black. What I do instead is I remember what it feels like to look at an apple. I can’t even conjure a picture of my family members. I mean I know what they look like and I can describe them. But if I shut my eyes, I can’t ‘see’ them.
This both shocked and fascinated me because I do have a very good memory and I would argue (and hope!) that as a writer I have a vivid imagination. What I’ve learned is that for me imagination is very sensorial rather than pictorial. Conceptual visualisation. If I’m remembering or imagining a place (like the cottage in my new book), I close my eyes and remember what it felt like to be in the space. I don’t see any pictures but I vividly recall the actual sensation of standing in the space. The smells. The sensations. I can turn my head to the side and remember all the detail of the many things I saw. What was on the fridge. The fabric of the curtains. But I don’t actually see any pictures at all.
I thought this was the same for everyone. So it was a shock to learn that many people can call up actual pictures when they close their eyes.
When I write, I experience everything very deeply. I used to say I ‘see’ scenes in my head but what I realise now is that it feels as if I’m in the scenes myself or watch them as if from a doorway. I walk through it all with my characters. It feels very real, very vivid to me – but it’s sensory, not actually pictorial.
I found all this so fascinating that I decided to weave a strand into this book and so gave my main character a form of aphantasia.
What do you think people find enjoyable about thrillers? What other thrillers have you enjoyed recently?
I think the tension and pace of thrillers are the big draw. The questions and the stakes. What is going on? What’s already happened? Just how bad are things going to get?
Woven carefully, a good thriller with great characters is a safe space to examine scary material. And there is that stronger chance of justice and resolution in a book which life does not always offer.
I adore Lisa Jewell as a writer – also Belinda Bauer. And I think it’s hard to beat the Kate Atkinson Jackson Brodie series.
I love that there are so many sub genres within the fabulous crime umbrella. Something for all readers. I write at the emotional, psychological end of suspense but there are terrific books dealing with serial killers, fabulous procedurals as well as the upsurge in cosy crime. As I say, something for everyone.
I also love that the crime writing community is so friendly. It always makes me smile at festivals to see these lovely warm, fun people having a good time together. You’d never imagine some of the grim plots going on in our heads!
Tell Me Lies poignantly and thoughtfully explores the experience of living with trauma, and how we lie to ourselves and other people in order to cope. What inspired this plotline?
I’ve always been drawn to the theme of loss and recovery. Or failure to recover.
I lost my mother to cancer when I was seventeen and while I had a very loving wider family, it was a difficult time in an age when many people were uncomfortable talking about loss. I think there’s a strong tendency to say ‘I’m fine’ after a loss – because what else can you say? And many people worry about what to say to someone grieving, so say nothing at all.
It’s great that there are so many charities now helping people of all ages, especially children, with bereavement. Grief is tough but it’s a process and I feel that we all need to learn how to support each other and be more open talking about death and how we get past – or rather learn to live with – losing someone beloved.
Across my decades in journalism, because of my own experience, I was inevitably drawn to stories involving loss and I felt huge compassion for anyone grieving. I often came across stories where unresolved grief or unresolved trauma had bled into later life and so I like to shine a light on this in my fiction. I’m not saying I’m any kind of expert but I’ve witnessed a lot of pain as a journalist and I feel very sad about that. And as a writer, I often feel compelled to work my way through that landscape of hurt in my fictional stories. I tend to put my characters through a lot in my books but in my heart, I’m always willing them back out into the sunshine.
Tell Me Lies by Teresa Driscoll (Thomas & Mercer ) Out Now
No comments:
Post a Comment